Decisions, decisions....

Hey guys, so I've been thinking about who I like the past few days and letting things play out, and I can honestly tell you it has no been easy. I haven't seen SB for over a week, but the thing is, I don't miss him. Maybe it's cause we were never that close, but I don't think about him all the time. I don't even get the urge to text him... Maybe I never liked him in the first place and it was just cause he was cute :)

I can say that the guy I like is H, he's been on my mind a lot. I keep thinking of him, getting the urge to text him whenever I can, make plans to hang out with him (do I sound annoying?). I mean he's just so sweet to me all the time, and he's willing to listen to my problems and everything. I think that's why I like him. He's willing to accept me for, well me. He doesn't judge me, he's just so nice . No matter what I do that may sound stupid, he doesn't judge, he gives his insight on the subject, but I know that he isn't judging me while he's saying whatever it is he's saying. And what people about that one person who can make you smile no matter what, well for me, at this moment, he's that guy. When I'm talking to him, when I see him, when I text him, I can't help but smile. Out conversations always leads to me laughing, and my mood lifting.

The only thing is, I don't know how he feels about me. I mean I feel like he likes me, but then I doubt myself and ask "Why would he like me out of all people?" I know I may sound like I'm exaggerating, but that question seriously pops into my head. He's smart, nice, kindhearted, childish, a joker, a sweetheart, a good listener, patient, understanding, and a million other good qualities, I'm not kidding, I'm not blinded by love, I've noticed this from before I started liking him. And as an added bonus, he knows how to play the guitar, sing and cook! Everything you want in a guy, wrapped up in him!

I really want to know how he feels about me though, I want to know if he ever thinks of me the same way as I do. I want to know if he thinks of me as often as I think of him. I want to know if I even have a shot in him, is he even interested in me? But what am I supposed to think when he's so nice to me, and is willing to listen to listen to all my problems without complaining about it. Who tells me I'm pretty and that I'm a star and that any guy would be lucky to have me. Someone who is willing to tell me everything they know about love and how they feel about their past relationships? How can I not like someone that is so open with me, and lets me in (when he told me that he has told no one else about how he feels).

But then again, it might just be me. Because he does ask who I like. Maybe because he's interested and wants to know if he's got competition, or maybe cause he just cares and doesn't want to see me get hurt. Whatever the matter, I just know that I like him, and I wish I had the courage to tell him how I feel and not be afraid to get rejected and have a guarantee that no matter what the outcome, we will still be friends...

-J