And It's a Go!

Okay, so remember when I told you guys I had a dream about me and L? And we were dating, and dancing or what not, and I said it was totally bonkers? Well, I'm starting to think maybe not...

So I've recently realized that I might not like him like him, but I definitely have some attraction towards him. It's not so much that I want to date him, but I don't know, just be around him? I know what some of you are thinking, but he is not a guy I would date. I just know he's not, it's a gut feeling. But I do feel something, which is strange...

On the other hand T just had his official last day, so that means no more T, I'm never going to see him again, because of the fact that we both go to different schools... Ohh life. I'll miss his little cluelessness and his laugh, such an adorable laugh.

Other than that, my NYC trip is going to happen! So excited! Can't wait to be off before Uni starts! It's going to be a 3 day trip with 2 of my friends, yes a bunch couldn't come cause of personal reasons, but I'm not going to let that be a bummer. I shall enjoy this trip no matter what! And of course shop! Sigh, there goes all the money I made this summer :P But hopefully it'll be worth it and hopefully I might have something to talk about when I get back! Can't wait to get some major shopping done and just get time away from work and just enjoy a few days on my own. Plus the night before I leave, there is a free, yes FREE, MSO concert at the Olympic stadium. I've always wanted to go see one of their shows and I'm not willing to pay 50$ for a concert that I might not end up liking, so this is going to be a test run to see if I'll like it or not. I feel like a free concert for something I've wanted to see for a good 4 years now is a good way to start off my mini vacation before school starts and reality sets in.

And I'm on my 13th book for the summer! Yes, 13! I'm a nerd, that I shall admit. But I am very proud of myself, although the books aren't super hard to read English classics, I'm still doing very well, maybe on the last post of the summer I'll add up all the pages I have read and impress you guys :P Probably won't do that great of a job, but meh, a girl can try.

I'm also trying to squeeze as many activities in for the rest of the summer as possible, so I'm making plans to meet up for lunch or supper or ways to spend the day, cause to be honest, I might not be friends with some of the friends i have right now for longer, with us going to different Universities in different programs and for some, even in different provinces... It may be time to say bye to some friends, so I will cherish what ever time we have left together.

Well, feel free to tell me what you think of my summer plans, my bookwormness or just say hi :)

-J

Strange Dreams

So, you know how dreams are always weird, you never know how they start and you always forget them as soon as you wake up? Well most of them anyways. And people always say that the dreams you have are all about things that you have "unresolved" during the day or are stressing out about. Also, the people and places you see in dreams are all people you've seen and places are all of places that you've been. But I don't necessarily believe that, some of it does make sense, like how could you be somewhere if you don't know what it looks like, or how could you be "talking" to someone if you didn't know how they spoke?

But I have a few arguments to make for some of these facts.

1. I've had a deja vu moment from a dream about being a drink from this exact guy that I didn't know and he said something to be after he gave me my drink in my dream and last year, that exact sense took place, with the store looking the same, same uniforms, same guy, same drink, but I had that dream before ever seeing the store in my life.
2. Another time was when, well I cant recall the dream very well, but in the dream, I remember meeting a guy with shoulder length silver hair with blue/violet eyes. And he looked like no one I have ever crossed paths with in my life.

Anyways, this post was not meant to question the concept of dreams, it was to talk about a dream I had a few days ago that I just can't seem to forget, and that was also very weird for me.

The dream was of me and a guy, L, at a party,and he was my date. And the thing is I don't like L so why would he be my date anyways? But he was my date and we danced, and laughed and I was having a great time. Then we sat down, I think we were at a wedding or something, all I remember is that we were very dressed up and I was sitting on his lap, which was wrinkling my dress, so I decided to sit on a chair and he put his hand on my knee. And I liked the feeling...which is weird cause I don't think I would feel comfortable with him touching me like that in real life. and I don't like him like him, I mean we've known each other for a while now, and he's always making fun of me and play fighting with me, but we are for sure not interested in one another. He's into stereotypical tall and pretty girls and I'm into smart, sensitive guys. But somehow this dream is bugging me, a lot more than it should...

-J

Is it all in the Mind?

Hey guys, so I've been thinking about this for a while... Is love simply something made up in our minds? Now before you get upset and say, why am I reading this bull, let me just state that I do believe that we all have that special someone out there who's the perfect match for us, and all we have to do is find each other. But based on my past with guys (that barely exists), I have to wonder if that special someone will ever find me. I  mean, I feel like I'm a lost cause, like someone who is meant to live their life alone and never find true love.

And as that lonely person, I have to wonder if I really do have a shot with anyone. I truly want to believe that we all have a better half out there waiting to find us, but what if we never find each other, I mean there are 6 billion people on the earth, what are the chances that we would find each other? 1 in a billion, i have a better chance winning the lottery right?

I do wish that that invisible red string that hold two people meant to be together, the one that gets tangled but never cut, is visible to us. I mean wouldn't life be a million times simpler if we all didn't have to worry about the guy we like liking us back, or who we will end up with? That would be a weight off our shoulders right? Well maybe not, cause we are never truly satisfied with what we have. We always want more, so what happens if we find that one person, and we don't like the way they look? The way they smell? And I know, I'm just taking something totally happy and breaking it into a million and one pieces in front of your eyes, but doesn't anyone ever wonder about this? I mean, isn't part of the excitement of falling in love the journey? Getting to know the person, falling for them, and finally the effort you put into to see if they feel the same way about you?

Wouldn't all the magic of love disappear if we never got to, excuse my term, but chase after the one that we love? Where would the fun be in knowing exactly who we were going to be with for the rest of our lives? Now don't get me wrong, I'm not hating on arranged marriages, they are fine in my book, because so many of the people end up being happy, just like my grandparents are.

But all in all, i guess I'm just depressed that I don't have anyone in my life at the moment :P Feel free to tell me how you feel about this.

-J

Introducing AA

Hey guys, I know my last post was a very lengthy one, and I apologize for that. That post actually came to me in the middle of the night one day and I just had to get everything out. Maybe I'm my own psychiatrist (How does that make you feel?). Joking aside, I would recommend we all do that from time to time. It really helps get some stress off my shoulders and give me a more positive outlook on life, maybe because I was being honest, maybe because even though I didn't like many people, I also found the good from my relationships from them. I'm short, I'm telling you guys to start keeping journals... Is that weird?

Anyways, this post is to introduce you guy to someone new I'll be talking about from time to time. If you read my last post, you'll know about H and SB, now I'm going to introduce you to AA. Now AA is also a guy, but I'm not crushing on him (or so I think, for the moment). With AA, it's a little complicated because we are good friends, but his ex-girlfriend seems to have something against me (not that AA notices), but it bothers me. And H and SB don't like being around him. What is a girl to do when her friends just don't get along? Well, I somehow manage and not piss anyone off. But AA is a very special person (not to me), he's the type of person that doesn't trust others very easily. But somehow he considers me a close friend, despite the fact that we don't know each other very well. We met in March of last year and we easily became friends. He helped me study for exams and offered to calm me down before exams and tests (even if his girlfriend, currently his ex, was also freaking out). But there are also things that annoy be about AA, and although he doesn't do these things to me, it bothers me that it's in him.

You see, he's a very smart man (well at this point, all of my friends are), and he knows it. So he brags. But his bragging is to an extreme, where no one around him wants to hear it or wants to tolerate it. But one of the things that led me to having a crush on him a while ago was the fact that he doesn't brag about things to me. We simply ask each other how we did (with the occasional actual numerical grade), and he encourages me, telling me that I've done a great job. But with others, it's a whole other story, he would rub it in their faces and make them feel inferior to him. But there is only so much I can do about how he treats others.

This is a bye bye for now. Here's hoping that I have something a little more interesting next post.

-J