Longer Summer & Trying to Forget

Hey guys!

So summer is coming to an end, I counted the days in my last post, but if you are counting down for me (cause I'm not :P) Add one more day to that countdown, because I don't have school on the Provincial election day! The first day of school has been moved back. Aside from that exciting news, I finished book 14, working on 15, although I've taken a few days break from books (I have no idea why). But I'm getting through my list :)

I've also been trying to let people go lately, like old friends that make me upset when I think about them. I mean we always think about people that used to be in our lives, but it doesn't always hurt to think about them. I need to get to that point with some people. I've gotten there with BF, but it's harder with other people, not don't get me wrong, I have other people in that category too, but the one person I have to stop thinking about and allowing to ruin my day is H. I keep telling myself and you guys sometimes, that I'm over him, but the thing is I'm not. And the other night when I was talking to O I was sure that there was no way I was over H. Now I know sometimes I make it sound like we dates, but we never did, we were just two super close friends. But talking to O kind of brought back all the things I was trying to ignore, whether on purpose or not, I've been trying to tell myself that I never liked him, that it was just a brotherly love of some sort, but the thing is, it wasn't I liked him. And the thing that makes it worse is that I liked him like I liked U, it's hard to explain, other than that U was the first guy I ever liked, and like people say, your first love is the deepest. But I still can't think of H without it making me feel like shit. I stopped carrying the presents he gave me around, which I thought would help, but instead I find myself unconsciously looking for them during the day. It's just hard, and the thing is I thought the summer would help me get over it, and that maybe I'll find someone to like at work... but the thing is... I can't get over him. He's been to present in my life for the past year and too involved in my life. And everyone knows that we were super close and that we always talked, so they keep asking how he is... and that really doesn't help. It's to the point where I don't know if I can't wait to see him at school or I never ever wanna see him again. And it doesn't help that he's MIA all summer either. It makes me feel like he just doesn't care enough to see how I (or anyone else for that matter) is doing.

Plus it's not like there aren't nay guys that peek my interest, you guys know that for a fact, I've already talked about L and F and T (who is no longer around). There's another kinda cute guy at work, but I don't like him, he's nice an all, but not a person I would have a crush on. Then there is one other guy that I haven't talked about yet, I'll call him WL, he's really nice, and we always tease each other at work, and he always tries to one up me or make me pissed (in a good way). Like if I want him to kill a spider, he would purposely try to let it live to annoy me. He's also always smiling around me (he's kinda shy, which is kinda cute), and he would always argue with me about things until I lose the argument. And every time I beat him he would bring up how he wins more often. He's a really nice guy, and smart (from what I know anyways). So why can't I be into him (a little more than I am) instead of thinking about H all the time? My life would be so much easier!

And one last note I hate people who cannot stop bragging about their accomplishments, I have a coworker who started going out with the guy I liked last year, and she won't stop bringing it up! She's always like "Remember when you liked him", "You think he's cute don't you?", or she would be telling other workers "Ohh, did you know she liked him last year?". It's like OMG get over it, I no longer have a crush on your boyfriend! It's not that big of an accomplishment, especially since we never actually fought over the guy, if you want to make others not like me, just tell them I'm a bitch -.-

Anyways, enough venting for one night. Until next time, remember to smile at yourself in the mirror!

-J

Book List

So because someone asked me, here is my list of books to read.

1. Looking for Alaska by John Green
2. Game of Thrones  by George R.R. Martin (Series or just the one, not sure yet)
3. Last Little Blue Envelope by Maureen Johnson
4. Pretty Little Liars by Sara Shepard (Series or just the one book I'm not sure yet)
5. Num8ers by Rachel Ward
6. Prophecy of the Sisters by Michelle Zink
7. Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy by E.L. James
8. The Vampire Diaries: Hunters: Moonsong by L.J. Smith
9. The Stefan Diaries: Asylum by L.J. Smith, Kevin Williamson and Julie Plec
10. The Stefan Diaries: The Completed by L.J. Smith, Kevin Williamson and Julie Plec
11. Golden Lily by Richelle Mead
12. Need by Carrie Jones
13. Captive by Carrie Jones
14. In the Club by Antonio Pagliarulo
15. Switch by Carol Snow
16. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austin
17. Prom and Prejudice by Elizabeth Eulberg
18. Micro by Micheal Crichton
19. Divergent Series by Veronica Roth
20. Paper Towns by John Green
21. Will Grayson Will Grayson by John Green
22. An Abundance of Katherines by John Green

Looking for Alaska is crossed out because I finished it so one down, about 21 more to go :)

As you may have noticed I have quite a few John Green books, curse you ST!!! She got me into his books and vlog :P For those interested I recommend The Fault in Our Stars also by John Green, it's an amazing book.

Tell me ig there are any books you want me to check out :)

-J