Monday, September 3, 2012

Looking at the Future

Hey guys!

So I've finished book 18 for the summer (sorry ST, I know I said 19... I miss counted).

One of my friends is moving to ttawa this weekend... I haven't really spoken aout her on my blog, but she is present in my life She's one of those people who are mean honest to you, and even though you know they are being honest, her comments hurt. Like you should be able to sencor your thoughts before saying them type mean. But she's nice, I'll let you guys know her as S, this actually might be her first and last time showing up on my blog since she's moving and I don't know how often we'll be able to talk or hang out. So yes, S is sometimes mean and hurtful, but she is always there to listen and there to lend a hand, and even though she is mean, I'm glad she is around to offer her opinion, cause even though it's mean, it gives you an insight on what people think of you.

This post isn't just about me talking about her though :P For those who are interested in H news, well good news! We've been talking again! He just got back from a vacation in Cuba. And he apologized for this Awolness. He says that he isn't good at staying in touch with people, which probably mean that if I want to be his friend, I must be the annoying one that bugs him all the time so we don't drift apart.... Oh how things don't change from CEGEP all that much... But yes, we will keep in touch no matter what >.< and whether he likes it or not, I've already warned him. We have a class together this semester, so maybe it won't be all that hard :) AA has promised to be my study buddy since we don't have any classes together. SB is well, non existent :P I haven't talked to him since about mid/end June... I also have a class with W, and I'm sure we'll be seeing a lot more of each other, at least this year... I can't say about the years after that though. I have a feeling I'm going to have a whole new set of friends by the end of this year, which kinda scares me but at the same time gets me excited. I mean I'll miss everyone cause it'll be different in a sense and some of the people I'm friends with right now are friends from High school, and they are friendships I want to keep for a long time and hope that these people will grow and change with me, maybe not in the same ways and not through the same experiences, but I would like to see them in my future. And by them I mean W, BB, O, Y, ST, AK, and maybe even H, if we end up keeping in touch. Of course I've said this about many friendships over the years and I haven't really been in touch with some people for a long long time, so I know I'll end up loosing some of these people in the long run a well, but I'm hoping I won't.

Also, this school year I shall be employed to work about 10-15 hours a week (I know! Perfect hours for students who want  bit of pocket change). I don't need the job for the money though, it's more for my CV and just keeping myself busy. I've noticed that when I have free time I tend to procrastinate, I noticed that last year, when I was still working I focused a lot more on school and actually did better in school despite less time studying. Now this could have been due to the fact that it was because it was the beginning of the semester, but it actually went through midterms and a few papers, and I started the year off better than I ended (well in some classes). I did better in my Biology and Physics lass as the year progressed, which was a big surprise. But I noticed that while I worked, I was more set to do things because I knew I wouldn't have time for it later, I managed my time a lot better, and hopefully this helps in University as well.

Now I know some of you may be waiting for me o find a new love interest or decide on which guy I actually like, but to be honest, I don't think I like anyone at the moment, yes I find some people at work good looking and I like being around them, but I don't like them like them... It's hard to explain, but I have a feeling some of you guys know what I'm talking about. And it's kind of annoying how a lot of my friends suddenly say things like "You and H looked like such a cute couple" or "I always though your feelings were reciprocal" or "You guy were like a couple, all you were missing was a kiss" and it's kind of like, I'm trying to get over this kid, and even though you give me positive things about the relationship we could have/kind of did have, it's not helping me get over the fact that he said he didn't like me. But it also helps me in a way (I know, I'm weird) because it makes me feel a little better because now I know he did kind of give signs that other people were able to read and I wasn't just looking into things... so for those friends reading this, I don't know if I hate of don't mind the comments. I also still get a lot of "Maybe you and SB had something going on" and I'm just like argh, why does everyone think that?! There is nothing wrong with SB let me get that clear right away, but it's just that I didn't like him that way. SB is actually a really smart, humble, funny and really cute. Sometimes I ask myself why I didn't like him instead (just like some of you), but hearts are known to be difficult creatures and we often don't have a choice in the matters of the heart.

Anyways, this will be the end of this post, because I have to get going to bed since I have work tomorrow. I hope you guys are okay with me not posting as much as I have been this summer since I have work and school and studying, and I still semi want to have a life. But of course I'll still tell you guys about bigger things that are happening :)

See you guys soon,
-J

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