Frustration

Hey guys!

So I know it's been a long time since my last post (well not that long, but it feel like it's been a long time). I had a week off work and what a week it was. I was out almost everyday and it was just an amazing week. Unfortunately the week is definitely over cause obviously I had work today and well, the magic and happiness and happy-me is gone and replaced with stressed-out-never-happy-me again. But let's not dwell on the negatives.

My week was amazing, I got to meet up with everyone I wanted to meet up with and it was just fun and so carefree and relaxing even though I was always out and barely slept.

The thing I want to talk about today is not the amazing week however, it's WL. I don't know what he thinks and it's just so darn frustrating. I mean I have people telling me that he seems interested and I feel like he's interested, but then he goes and acts like he doesn't give a crap half the time and it is just so damn confusing. I asked him out to coffee on Tuesday and it was a really nice way to spend the afternoon. We got coffee and walked around the downtown area and we were basically talking about nothing. But it was a really easy going time. We both had plans after coffee, he told be when we first met up that he basically only had an hour with me so we made the best of it and the next thing you know it was an hour and a half later and we were still walking and talking about nothing. He ended up walking me to the bus stop to go to ST's house and he kept walking and stupid me got on the bus instead of deciding to walk with him since I was way early getting to ST's house anyways. We texted a little that night and it was nice, but the thing about WL is that he doesn't initiate conversations, in real life he would or h would do something that would make me start the convo, but by text it's a little harder I guess. Even I don't know what to say to him when I want to text him.

We met up last night with a group of people from work for vegan food, and he has been complaining since I invited him that we were having vegan food and in the end he ended up coming anyways, although he kept complaining and although I kept telling him not to come. He came and we ate and he basically called it the most expensive appetizer he ever had and then he called his friends to see where they were to see if they wanted to go and eat. Our group decided to go out for tea and he ended up coming anyways.

During the night he never really sat next to me and we never really talked, but at a point ST pointed out to me hat he kept looking at me but he wouldn't say anything. I had kind of noticed too, but after that I realized that he also didn't hold eye contact with me when I caught him looking. In the end we kept shifting seats and we sat next to each other for a while and it was nice cause we would both reposition ourselves once in a while to see each other better or to be closer to the other. And even though I was right next to him, NOTHING!

At the end of the night he was still complaining that we had a "hippie" night, but he said he had fun and when L mentioned that we should have more get together he looked at me an nodded and then we hugged. (Side note: second time I've ever hugged him ^.^).

I kind of texted him today and his replies could have been flirty, awkward or just plain creepy, but it was cute cause, you know I'm a girl and he was still texting me :P But it is funny cause I took it as WL being WL, but all my friends took it as being creepy and dirty... Guess I'm the most naive one out of the group :D

But ya, it's just frustrating cause sometimes I feel like he's interested but I'm never too sure, it's just so annoying cause I feel like I'm second guessing all the time and I feel like if he is interested he doesn't care enough to do something about it. I talked to a guy at work today and mentioned that I liked  guy and basically explained how WL acts around me and he told me that WL is interested but isn't sure how I feel and he might be afraid to get rejected. He explained how he was in those shoes once but he always avoided it by making sure the girl liked him for sure before making his move. So if that's the case, I either have to make it painfully obvious or I have to be a sitting duck :P I'm just afraid if I'm always texting him that he'll just find me annoying, cause he gets annoyed pretty quickly :P

ST also pointed out that although he kept complaining about last nights outing, he stuck by the whole time and she said she's pretty sure it wasn't to spend time with L or anyone else in the group. And it's true cause although he was against vegan he agreed to come before he knew who else was coming. But I just wish he would do something! I mean come on, if you really aren't interested you sure give me the wrong signal...

Wish me luck until I figure all this stuff out,

-J