Hey guys,
So yes summer has started and I have already hit my first impasse. I have to write an exam at the end of the summer to get into one of the classes I'm taking in a future semester, so now I have to turn into a study monster (the transformation is taking some time... A LOT of time). I'm hoping to get started tomorrow so I know I have enough time to know most of the stuff and be as prepared as possible. This is not the main source of my stress, yet... but it will be. I'll let that hit me when it does.
My main source of stress is work. Like I pointed out before, I am stressed about how people will take me as a manager this year. I mean last year was great in terms of me being and operations manager but being manager, it feels like it takes stress levels to whole new level... And I'm scared of messing up or of being the manager that everyone hates. I've met up with most of the new recruits and a lot of them seem really nice, but of course, I have to see how they work before I can make a final verdict. BD, co-manager and has an hate/love relationship with me, has been very nice the past few days, which gets me very suspicious for some reason, and maybe I shouldn't be suspicious, but I am. She would Facebook message me and get her bf to text me on her behalf (she currently doesn't have a phone) and she would be really nice when we see each other. It's a ice change of pace from my usual walk on eggshells, but I can't help but be suspicious anyways. L also seems to be super nice and we're getting along well even though he was being a sour grape a little while back. But what is stressing me is my boss. I just feel like he might be expecting a little too much out of me. I mean , I have no clue what I'm doing. I've been working the past two days along with BD, L and GW and we've been briefing the new people in on the job and touring them to our different locations and my boss would suddenly be like "J, you do it" and he won't stop insisting till I do whatever it is he asked. Things went by a lot easier today, maybe cause it was a repeat of the previous day, but not as bumpy a ride :P I just feel like it's going to be a lot o pressure on me this year (most of the pressure I'll probably be putting on myself), but I just feel like it will be.
In the past two days, I've met with over 40 new employees, gotten sunburned like it's the middle of July, gotten along with a lot of the new employees and already had my boss chauffeur me around, I wouldn't say it's a bad of good start, but it is definitely a start of the season.
My relationship with my boss is also stressing me out a little. Because even thought I know I've worked hard to get to where I am, the things people say about being the "favorite" is getting to me a little. I'm starting to think that maybe I did just get lucky and ended up having a good relationship with my boss. I mean he drives me home after shifts, and he's driven me into work once of twice (mostly cause he lives less than ten minutes to me by car), I get sent emoticons when I text him (kinda strange), I know he takes my opinions seriously, I've gone to a bar with his wife, and I answered that darn mans' phone today for Pete's sake! Although it was because he was in the middle of a presentation and I knew the person on the other end. But still, what if all of this is the only reason I am where I am? What if I'm a bosses pet? I mean he even asked me to go into work this week and I thought it was a group text asking a bunch of employees, but from the way he answered I sound like the only one he asked. So yes it's a strange relationship, but is that the only thing that's gotten me where I am, or am I as hard working as I hope I am?
I'm probably talking nonsense, but it's just a lot of stress... Plus at the moment I'm making work plans, study pans, school related plans and social plans all at the same time for the upcoming 7 days, and it is hard to juggle all of this at once... Why am I the planner in my group of friends again?
-J
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