Finals + Summer Plans

Hey guys!

So some of you guys may be wondering what I'm doing blogging, when in reality I should be studying for finals and whatnot. Well, I like to procrastinate as much as possible, and blogging is one of my many procrastination activities. I know I'm lifeless... But all this said, school is getting to be a pain in the a**. So close to finishing, yet so willing to just give it all up now... But I won't there is 2 weeks of school left, then 3 exams, and it's time to say bye bye to CEGEP and hello to University! I am so excited!

But before I can be happy about Uni, I have to worry about 4 more tests, 3 major assignments, 1 essay, 3 quizzes and of course 3 more Finals. But I can muggle through all of this, and hope that I don't have to worry about summer school. But aside from the school work, I don't have much to talk about. You see I have a boring life... Why are you guys even reading this?

So what does someone life myself have planned for the summer? I'll be working most of the time. But I also plan on going to LaRonde with some friends. For those of you who don't like in MTL, it's the only amusement park available around here. I also plan to go check out the Star Wars exhibition at the Montreal Science Center, have a barbecue with my friends, go biking when I have time (with my brothers of my friends), reading like the bookworm I am, shop for a new wardrobe for Uni, get a haircut, get some highlights, and of course take a girls trip to NYC! I'm hoping all this happens because I want to enjoy some free and fun times before university starts and I go crazy.

I also want to take this time to tell you guy to treat others the way you want to be treated. Now I know people always say this, but seriously do it. You may think you're being okay to someone just because they don't speak up, but that doesn't mean they don't have feelings. One day they will snap and you will regret being so mean to them all along. This story is for another time though.

So until then, remember to smile at yourself in the mirror every morning, because being loved begins with oneself.

-J

Nothing Much

Hey guys,

Sorry I haven't been posting anything lately, but school has been hectic lately. Essays are due left and right, assignments are piling up and I have too many tests to worry about. But once the semester is over,  I guarantee more frequent posts... that is if works doesn't consume all my time... Ohh work. But I did get my brother in :) So now he can stop bumming around the house and do something productive.

But in my life right now, nothing much has been happening. There is still the "bloodbath," ST and I came up with the name for my weekly purell in the face and abuse taking form SB. That still goes on, maybe more than just on Tuesdays now. I'm still talking in H once in a while, and we've gone back to being friends like we were before I confessed. ST is starting to scare me, just a little (if you are reading this, know that I am kidding!). Recently got a text form AB and wondering if I should reply or not... And I've been getting to know KC better, although he's not going to be in two by the time next semester comes around :( But it's been really nice getting to know him more, especially since we've known each other for a year, but never really talked.

And since I have nothing else to write, here are things I've put up on my menu to be making the in the next couple of weeks:

• Brownies
• Red Velvet Cupcakes
• Seafood White Spring Rolls
• Sushi
• Strawberry Cheesecake
• Seafood Pasta
• Tiramisu

Yummy right?

Well, until next time, enjoy your end of the semesters/school years and remember to stop and just look up at the sky once in a while.

-J

All Smiles and Laughs

Hey guys!

I know it's been a little while since I've updated, but I don't really have much to say. I'm not sad or anything anymore. I've been healing slowly, and H and I are still friends and we still talk, and seeing him around is honestly not as hard as I thought it would be. It actually feels like before, not awkwardness, so sad faces, it's just like before. But other than that, I don't have much to say. Ohh I've been getting hugs from ST! That was for her amusement, if she's every going to read this post :P.

But aside form that nothing much, the only other thing that would count as exciting is getting my face purelled and getting sprayed with Axe by SB.

So bye for now!
-J

It's Been Said and Done

Hey guys!

Today I come with bad news for those who were with me on the H train. I confessed today! I told him I liked him, and as I thought, he doesn't feel the same way. But even though he doesn't and I'm kinda bummed, I'm kinda happy at the same time. This way I have him forever in a sense, because we'll always be friends. And at the end of the day, I would rather have in in my life, rather than him not be there at all. And at the same time, coming out and telling him makes me not have to ask myself what if later on.

-J

A Shoulder to Lean On

You know when you have a good friend? And you know that no matter what, they have a shoulder for you to cry on or lean on? Well, today I found one, well, I always knew it was there for me, but I realized today that I like this shoulder A LOT :P. It was comfy, like a pillow, and fit like a glove (does that make sense when I'm referring to a shoulder?) But anyways, yes, I found a shoulder to lean on. This shoulder belongs to H, now some of you guys may be rolling your eyes, and going of course it's him you doofus! You talk about him all the time! But remember I was having my doubts with him. I'm never sure if we're both in each others friend zones, or we might actually have something going on, and once again, I am kind of hopeless when it comes to guys. But today, I felt very comfortable leaning my head on his shoulders. I would usually feel awkward doing it, but it really didn't, it actually felt very natural to me. The thing is I've thought of doing this to people in the past, H, AA and maybe two others in my whole entire life. With AA it was just cause we were in class and I was tired, and he was sitting next to me, and it was 8AM and you know zzz... The same went for the other two guys. But with H, I've thought of it pretty often, but I've never done it till today. He started putting his head on my shoulder first, and then I did it. We just sat there like that, my head on his shoulder, his head on my head. And we were in public, at our volunteer thing. But it felt so natural, I have no other way of describing it, I don't know if it was awkward for him, but to me, it felt right. It wasn't awkward, it wasn't weird, I didn't feel like I shouldn't be doing it, it was just right. I really have no other way of describing it.

And ST just told me when we got home that she thought we looked cute together and that she thinks we would make a cute couple. This of course made me super happy, so thank you ST!

The only thing I hate though it that sometimes I feel like we have something, then I feel like it's not there the next day, but then I still enjoy my time being spent with him. And I know I said I would be okay if he dated someone else as long as we were friends, or at least I think I said that. I just realized today that I'm not. In no way would I want to see him with another girl. I know it's selfish of me, because he should be happy, but I know that I wouldn't be able to handle it. It would be too much for me. I realized this when we were with other girls, and seeing him with them made me jealous, it wasn't as bad before, but today, it just really hit home. And some of you may be thinking, but of course, after your whole head on his shoulder thing, you should feel jealous, but this happened before that. Usually I let it slide, but today I wasn't able to let it slide, it just really really bugged me.

This whole thing is just getting so complicated in my head, and I seriously wish I could just tell him how I feel, but I still don't feel ready, and at the same time, I don't know when the right time would be...

-J