I Wonder...

I have a feeling I am very clueless when I comes to boys, and whether they might like me or not. Of course sometimes I am on the ball, which makes me wonder how I missed this one. I mean all the signs were there, and a lot of people suspected something. But I was pretty much clueless the whole time, or I just didn't want to believe it, I guess. Before this gets anymore confusing, let me tell you guys.

So, you guys all know who AA is. I think that he used to or still likes me. I never really realized, and to be honest I did have a crush on him a while back. So here are the reasons I think he likes/liked me:

1. He always noticed little things about me, the way I raise my voice when I say "I'm sorry." The way I always lift my shoulders when I'm irritated, the faces I made when I was feeling a certain way. My hair color and yes, even my zits :(
2. He always imitated me, my "I'm sorry" elevating his voice. He would imitate the way I lift my shoulders, and sometimes we were so in sync, we would lift them together. He also copied all the facial expressions I would make.
3. He gave me hugs all the time, and I never see him hugging others.
4. He was always asking me where I was during exam times, even if he was already with other people. Always asking if we could study together, even if he's way smarter than me.
5. He would share a locker with me (even if I have a locker buddy and he has his own locker).
6. He makes time for me. If he's at skating practice, and I text him, he would call me as soon as he was done or on a little break. If he's driving, he would call me anyways.
7. He grabbed my hand in school once (to be fair, he took my hand to drag me somewhere).
8. He kinda asked me out, and I kind of rejected without noticing (proves how clueless I am).
9. When he got injured he texted me to update me on what happened (although it was a few days later, but we haven't talked for a while. Yes this is recent, it happened today).

So I may be clueless, but I think these are signs that he may have been into me, or he may just be a really good friend :P Either way, I noticed when he told me he got injured, I got really worried and was willing to go to the hospital and see him. And when I found out he was at home, I felt relieved, although I may feel this way for any other friend, it's surprising that I feel such a strong connection to him. We were never really that close.

And to argue that I'm not that clueless, I will say that he is extremely religious and doesn't seem like the type to date outside of his religion... that's one reason why I thought it would not be possible. the next would have to be his ex. She is smart, and well, a bitch. So I would never expect to be his type.

But I probably missed my chance when I accidentally rejected him. I guess I'll have to see how this story works out, but at the same time, I don't think I want to, cause I know I don't feel the same way about AA as I do with H. So much stuff going on...

-J

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not...

Here's my list of why I think H likes me, and why he might not:

Likes:

• He compliments me a lot
• He tells me if somethings on his mind
• He texts me everyday
• He helps me out whenever I need help, no matter how annoying
• He listens to me complain about EVERYTHING
• He's honest with me
• He lets me see the true him
• He calls me smart
• He doesn't judge me
• He calls me pretty
• Good night texts
• He tries to cheer me up when I'm upset

Likes Me Not:

• He still thinks about his ex
• He's still hangs out with his old crush
• I'm too deep in the friend-zone
• Different beliefs (I hope this one isn't a reason for why he wouldn't like me) 

I don't know, sometimes I wish I could just read people's minds. But I would want to be able to control who's mind I'm listening to and when. Wouldn't that be convenient? It sure would! No more having to guess stuff like I am now.

At the same time, I wish I could tell him how I feel about him... But I'm afraid he says he doesn't feel the same way, or that he's still getting his ex (which he kind of is). But it's just when I'm with him, we're always smiling and joking, and pushing each other around. I just like how I can be myself around him, and not worry about what he thinks.

-J

What is a Girl to Do?

What is a girl supposed to do when the guy she likes asks her who she likes? Obvious answer may be to tell him who you really do like, right? Or is it to play it cool and pretend it's someone else?  Well regardless of what a girl is to do, it's an awkward situation to be stuck in. It's not something most people like to be in, because a) it makes you wonder why they're asking, b) if you're not ready to tell, you have no way of replying properly, and c) that means they think they know who you have a crush on. All of these situations might play together, or maybe one of them applies to you, but I can tell you from experience, it's not easy to get out of if you don't have the guts to tell they guy how you feel about them.

You see this is what happens to me, I get into really deep conversations with H, and these conversations always make me think really hard on how he might feel about me. Cause he may compliment me on a lot of things and he might bring my mood up, and occasionally flirt with me, but that's only my side of the story. I have NO idea how he might actually feel about me. I'm going on guesses and feelings and hope. If you've been reading all of my posts, you know that I like H and that we have our little moments at times, but last night we were talking about our celebrity crushes, and when I named Patrick Chan, he instantly thought about AA, and he told me that there are figure skaters in our school and that I don't have to think about someone I don't know. This bothered me, so I replied "He's not my type," and oddly enough he said that he had a feeling. Then went on to ask me what my type was. I answered, and right after answering, I knew that I had somehow described him, and I wondered if he knew. But then we talked about how we have the tendency to fall for friends. He called me both smart on dumb on that part, bu then admitted that he is the same. Maybe one day I should ask him who he likes :P , that would be a hell of a fun time... or would it? I guess it depends on the answer I would get from him.

But I do know that I'm special to him, whether it be as someone of interest or simply as a friend. He has told me on multiple occasions that I am irreplaceable to him, that it is not the same when I am not around, and that if the island of Montreal sank like Atlantis, that he would try his hardest to save me (even though we live about an hour away from each other by car with no traffic), along with other little things as well. Today I also went to W's Anatomy class, which H is part of, and instead of sitting with SB (which I think is his best friend) he came and sat with W and me instead.

I've decided to give this quote a try "When a guy likes you... he'll text you a lot, stay up every night with you, compliment you, and always have time for you." (x) I've done 2 test runs, I decided I would no text him or be the first to start a conversation with him on Skype. The first time didn't work out, cause we made plans and I ended up cancelling them, so I had to tell him somehow, so I texted him. The second time worked out pretty well, I didn't text or talk to him all of Friday and Saturday along with most of Sunday. He ended up messaging me last night, and that is how this post came to be. He messaged me simply to see how I was, and we ended up talking about anything and everything. And if this quote hold true, it means he likes me. Well I can hope right? He does text me a lot though, even when we have nothing to talk about, we stay up on Skype talking about nothing, he always compliments me somehow and he always finds time to help me out or hang out with me when I ask.

Though it looks like I am the only on that makes plans, at least I know he makes an effort to tlak to me when I don't :P

-J