You know when you have a good friend? And you know that no matter what, they have a shoulder for you to cry on or lean on? Well, today I found one, well, I always knew it was there for me, but I realized today that I like this shoulder A LOT :P. It was comfy, like a pillow, and fit like a glove (does that make sense when I'm referring to a shoulder?) But anyways, yes, I found a shoulder to lean on. This shoulder belongs to H, now some of you guys may be rolling your eyes, and going of course it's him you doofus! You talk about him all the time! But remember I was having my doubts with him. I'm never sure if we're both in each others friend zones, or we might actually have something going on, and once again, I am kind of hopeless when it comes to guys. But today, I felt very comfortable leaning my head on his shoulders. I would usually feel awkward doing it, but it really didn't, it actually felt very natural to me. The thing is I've thought of doing this to people in the past, H, AA and maybe two others in my whole entire life. With AA it was just cause we were in class and I was tired, and he was sitting next to me, and it was 8AM and you know zzz... The same went for the other two guys. But with H, I've thought of it pretty often, but I've never done it till today. He started putting his head on my shoulder first, and then I did it. We just sat there like that, my head on his shoulder, his head on my head. And we were in public, at our volunteer thing. But it felt so natural, I have no other way of describing it, I don't know if it was awkward for him, but to me, it felt right. It wasn't awkward, it wasn't weird, I didn't feel like I shouldn't be doing it, it was just right. I really have no other way of describing it.
And ST just told me when we got home that she thought we looked cute together and that she thinks we would make a cute couple. This of course made me super happy, so thank you ST!
The only thing I hate though it that sometimes I feel like we have something, then I feel like it's not there the next day, but then I still enjoy my time being spent with him. And I know I said I would be okay if he dated someone else as long as we were friends, or at least I think I said that. I just realized today that I'm not. In no way would I want to see him with another girl. I know it's selfish of me, because he should be happy, but I know that I wouldn't be able to handle it. It would be too much for me. I realized this when we were with other girls, and seeing him with them made me jealous, it wasn't as bad before, but today, it just really hit home. And some of you may be thinking, but of course, after your whole head on his shoulder thing, you should feel jealous, but this happened before that. Usually I let it slide, but today I wasn't able to let it slide, it just really really bugged me.
This whole thing is just getting so complicated in my head, and I seriously wish I could just tell him how I feel, but I still don't feel ready, and at the same time, I don't know when the right time would be...
-J
Showing posts with label comfort. Show all posts
Showing posts with label comfort. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Why Does Everyone Assume I Like SB?
I would really want to know why people think I like SB! Someone told me it's because I mention him a lot, but the thing is I talk about H way more. At first, I thought it was something stereotypical, like "Asians only like Asians" or something, but when even an Asian thinks it? I don't know... and when they are the 6th person to think the same thing in such a short span of time... something is definitely up.
And the thing is, I don't know what people see when they see us together, cause the thing is, we are almost never EVER together, but as mentioned before in a previous post, for two people who are generally shy around strangers, we get along very well for two people who barely know each other. But let me give you the background on how we generally act around each other, and you can be the judge of it.
When we first met, it was generally always saying "hi" to one another, and I would have group studies with him and H, and we would talk on Skype a lot, but the conversations would be about nothing, and they were more about school work than anything, but I found it easy to get along with him. And I guess he did too, because H told me that it took SB a while to warm up to him, but he was surprised at how quickly SB and I became friends. But we always got along pretty well form the start. Then one day, we just started making fun of one another. This started at the end of the semester, so about 2 mounts after we met, and then by my birthday party a month later, we had our nicknames for one another. After that, we always just made fun of one another, and I started doing what I only do to guys I'm super close with, I started to punch him for no apparent reason. Now this might sound weird, but I actually only punch guys I'm super comfortable with, I would hug all my guy friends, but punching is something else, I don't know, I don't do it on purpose, but it's just a reflex I've noticed. But I started to punch him for no reason.
We both also volunteer for the same thing at school, along with H, ST and AK, another one of my friends from school. Today there was four of us, SB, H, a friend named AK, and me. AK is a girl, and it just happened that we were sitting, girls on one side of the table, boys on the other. SB and I kind went to an extreme today. At first we were all insulting each other the whole day, calling each other names and joking around. And when AK left, I left my phone int he hands of SB ,unlocked, which is something I wouldn't do, EVER, and walked with AK to the metro. After I came back, he came to sit next to me, even though he had the most comfortable chair in the room. Then, I started to punch him, and he started to punch back, something he's never done before, and after about 10 minutes, all we did was hit and punch one another. And at a point he kept hitting my thighs, and after that we just got worse and worse, we started to pinch and poke, and slap one another. I think it was to the point that H was about to kick us out, if we weren't to fun to watch. But we just kept at it, even after H, left on an assignment, up until he had to get to class. Then I walked SB to class, said "hi" to W, and BB, and left for the day.
But I believe that if I were to watch myself and SB, from a thirst person perspective, I would believe that there was something going on between the two of us...
And I also gave H, his birthday present today, and he liked it! :D Gave me a huge hug and thanked me for it. And I think I may have made him jealous today. We were doing an errand for our volunteering today, and on the way I saw one of my old friends, KC, I haven't actually seen him for over a month, and even when we do, we always just say "hi", and one of us is rushing to class. But today, he was doing his volunteering or work, I'm never sure which, and I was running my errand. My errand required his help, so we were catching up. I introduced H to him and they exchanged a few words, then KC and I were talking about how we had to meet up, because we always said we would, but never actually ended up doing it. Then when we were done, we exchanged phone numbers and promised to text one another. I saw this look on H's face that I've never seen before, it kind of seemed like jealousy. And then he tried to play it off, saying how he liked KC's phone because it was his favorite color. But that look I saw on his face, it was something new, and the only way I can describe it is jealousy. But I may be assuming things. But if me exchanging numbers with a guy does bug him, then I may be on the right track with H to some degree.
Well, what do you guys think about SB or even my H situation?
-J
And the thing is, I don't know what people see when they see us together, cause the thing is, we are almost never EVER together, but as mentioned before in a previous post, for two people who are generally shy around strangers, we get along very well for two people who barely know each other. But let me give you the background on how we generally act around each other, and you can be the judge of it.
When we first met, it was generally always saying "hi" to one another, and I would have group studies with him and H, and we would talk on Skype a lot, but the conversations would be about nothing, and they were more about school work than anything, but I found it easy to get along with him. And I guess he did too, because H told me that it took SB a while to warm up to him, but he was surprised at how quickly SB and I became friends. But we always got along pretty well form the start. Then one day, we just started making fun of one another. This started at the end of the semester, so about 2 mounts after we met, and then by my birthday party a month later, we had our nicknames for one another. After that, we always just made fun of one another, and I started doing what I only do to guys I'm super close with, I started to punch him for no apparent reason. Now this might sound weird, but I actually only punch guys I'm super comfortable with, I would hug all my guy friends, but punching is something else, I don't know, I don't do it on purpose, but it's just a reflex I've noticed. But I started to punch him for no reason.
We both also volunteer for the same thing at school, along with H, ST and AK, another one of my friends from school. Today there was four of us, SB, H, a friend named AK, and me. AK is a girl, and it just happened that we were sitting, girls on one side of the table, boys on the other. SB and I kind went to an extreme today. At first we were all insulting each other the whole day, calling each other names and joking around. And when AK left, I left my phone int he hands of SB ,unlocked, which is something I wouldn't do, EVER, and walked with AK to the metro. After I came back, he came to sit next to me, even though he had the most comfortable chair in the room. Then, I started to punch him, and he started to punch back, something he's never done before, and after about 10 minutes, all we did was hit and punch one another. And at a point he kept hitting my thighs, and after that we just got worse and worse, we started to pinch and poke, and slap one another. I think it was to the point that H was about to kick us out, if we weren't to fun to watch. But we just kept at it, even after H, left on an assignment, up until he had to get to class. Then I walked SB to class, said "hi" to W, and BB, and left for the day.
But I believe that if I were to watch myself and SB, from a thirst person perspective, I would believe that there was something going on between the two of us...
And I also gave H, his birthday present today, and he liked it! :D Gave me a huge hug and thanked me for it. And I think I may have made him jealous today. We were doing an errand for our volunteering today, and on the way I saw one of my old friends, KC, I haven't actually seen him for over a month, and even when we do, we always just say "hi", and one of us is rushing to class. But today, he was doing his volunteering or work, I'm never sure which, and I was running my errand. My errand required his help, so we were catching up. I introduced H to him and they exchanged a few words, then KC and I were talking about how we had to meet up, because we always said we would, but never actually ended up doing it. Then when we were done, we exchanged phone numbers and promised to text one another. I saw this look on H's face that I've never seen before, it kind of seemed like jealousy. And then he tried to play it off, saying how he liked KC's phone because it was his favorite color. But that look I saw on his face, it was something new, and the only way I can describe it is jealousy. But I may be assuming things. But if me exchanging numbers with a guy does bug him, then I may be on the right track with H to some degree.
Well, what do you guys think about SB or even my H situation?
-J
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)