Habit is a Pain in the A**

I've recently noticed that when we get into the habit of doing something, it soon becomes a pain. I'm not saying that getting into the habit of excising and eating healthy or anything like that is a bad thing. drugs are a whole other issue, but that's not what this post is about either. I'm talking about when you're do used to doing something, and then all of a sudden it's gone. Right now I'm talking about people, like when you're used to talking to someone everyday, and all of the sudden it's like they dropped off the map completely, no more calls, no more texts, no more face to face time. On one hand you realized is how important someone is to you. But on the other, you feel like there is something missing. Like there is a hole you have to fill, some void, even if you are doing the same things everyday, just that contact with the person(s), the day is just not the same when you don't hear from them.

I'm just posting this because I've been thinking of a few people I used to talk to, and now don;t hear from anymore. And someone else as well. I'll take the chance to say I miss you ♥. 

-J

I Wonder...

I have a feeling I am very clueless when I comes to boys, and whether they might like me or not. Of course sometimes I am on the ball, which makes me wonder how I missed this one. I mean all the signs were there, and a lot of people suspected something. But I was pretty much clueless the whole time, or I just didn't want to believe it, I guess. Before this gets anymore confusing, let me tell you guys.

So, you guys all know who AA is. I think that he used to or still likes me. I never really realized, and to be honest I did have a crush on him a while back. So here are the reasons I think he likes/liked me:

1. He always noticed little things about me, the way I raise my voice when I say "I'm sorry." The way I always lift my shoulders when I'm irritated, the faces I made when I was feeling a certain way. My hair color and yes, even my zits :(
2. He always imitated me, my "I'm sorry" elevating his voice. He would imitate the way I lift my shoulders, and sometimes we were so in sync, we would lift them together. He also copied all the facial expressions I would make.
3. He gave me hugs all the time, and I never see him hugging others.
4. He was always asking me where I was during exam times, even if he was already with other people. Always asking if we could study together, even if he's way smarter than me.
5. He would share a locker with me (even if I have a locker buddy and he has his own locker).
6. He makes time for me. If he's at skating practice, and I text him, he would call me as soon as he was done or on a little break. If he's driving, he would call me anyways.
7. He grabbed my hand in school once (to be fair, he took my hand to drag me somewhere).
8. He kinda asked me out, and I kind of rejected without noticing (proves how clueless I am).
9. When he got injured he texted me to update me on what happened (although it was a few days later, but we haven't talked for a while. Yes this is recent, it happened today).

So I may be clueless, but I think these are signs that he may have been into me, or he may just be a really good friend :P Either way, I noticed when he told me he got injured, I got really worried and was willing to go to the hospital and see him. And when I found out he was at home, I felt relieved, although I may feel this way for any other friend, it's surprising that I feel such a strong connection to him. We were never really that close.

And to argue that I'm not that clueless, I will say that he is extremely religious and doesn't seem like the type to date outside of his religion... that's one reason why I thought it would not be possible. the next would have to be his ex. She is smart, and well, a bitch. So I would never expect to be his type.

But I probably missed my chance when I accidentally rejected him. I guess I'll have to see how this story works out, but at the same time, I don't think I want to, cause I know I don't feel the same way about AA as I do with H. So much stuff going on...

-J